3 6 9 go godGirl go

dream last night:  same little girl who’s been in my dreams for three nights, maybe 6 years old, last night she asked me to get her nine spools of red and white thread.  it was understood she was going to die, so this was like a last request, and much of the dream was spent with me getting distracted and hurrying up to finish doing some other errand before getting her spools to her, though i also sort of just knew she wasn’t going to die until she got them.  so looking at it one way it was incredibly self-absorbed and callous to do the other thing first, but from another angle it was kind, as she would stay alive for as long as i took to do this for her.  she asked me to get them for her and said then she would show me how to do it…something between stitching and cat’s cradle.  i remember having a hard time pulling my look out of the white thread, because it was this intensely like otherworldly beautiful color, not white like paper, somewhere between ivory and snow and almost the tiniest drop of silver in it, which seemed to like glow out from underneath it.  and i kept telling myself i had to stop looking at it so i could bring it to her but it was very hard to pull out, because when you looked at it you were somewhere else entirely; it was one of those instant out-of-body colors.  it was the kind of color that would go more with a dark red then a primary red, though i don’t remember if the reds were right or not.  she was very little but had very old eyes and a wise face, kind of how i picture the little god-girl in VALIS, which i haven’t read in a long time, but she gave that impression.  godGirl is a good character name. 

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