do i have mental problems.
Monthly Archives: April 2010
Through voluntary devotion I removed
binding ties. Therefore I had to remain true to love, and, devoted
to it voluntarily, I suffer the dismembering and thus attain bonding
with the great mother, that is, the stellar nature, liberation from
bondage to men and things.
i know; i am obsessed with the red book.
/If your beauty grows, the dreadful worm will also creep up
you, waiting for its prey. Nothing is sacred to him except his eye,
with which he sees the most beautiful. He will never give up his
eye. He is invulnerable, but nothing protects his eye; it is delicate
and clear, adept at drinking in the eternal light. It wants you, the
bright red light of your life.
What abyss of blood-dripping history separates you from me!
I grasped your hand and looked at you. I lay my head in your lap
and felt the living warmth of your body on mine as if it were my
own body-and suddenly I felt a smooth cord around my neck,
which choked me mercilessly…
Rise up, you gracious fire of old night.
I kiss the threshold of your beginning.
My hand prepares the rug and spreads abundant red flowers before you.
Rise up my friend, you who lay sick, break through the shell.
We have prepared a meal for you.
Gifts have been prepared for you.
Dancers await you.
We have built a house for you.
from The Red Book- Incantations
Everything inside me is in utter disarray. Matters are becoming
serious, and chaos is approaching. Is this the ultimate bottom?
Is chaos also a foundation? If only there weren’t these terrible
waves. The Red Book, Jung, p. 298
In Derrida’s documentary, where his life itself is deconstructed, he mentions the idea of ‘circumfession…so that people think they finally recognize me.’ A secret, he reminds us, is never at home.
thank you friend. i know you probably wonder if i’m really writing or just fucking myself up like when we were hanging out. i am doing better, but it’s not so much about the writing, it’s something like i’m finally feeling. but less numbness makes for more head(heart)aches and i feel like something raw without all that thick lizard skin which I had gotten so good at growing. anyway, maybe you would even be a little proud.